Smoking rule #1

Smoking is cheap and tolerated in Japan. You never meet a smoking Nazi here. I am a pack a week smoker and find it refreshing but.... smokers in Japan have no real manners or consideration for others. They need some more societal pressure to act responsibly.

Smoking rule #1. It is never ever cool to smoke in the car with your kids. This drives me insane. When my Japanese gets better I am going to start speaking up about this more.

Barrack to Barry and back

I'm not American. Who knows if Obama will be good for America or not. The thing I like about the guy is his honesty. Smoking, drinking, using recreational drugs does not necessarily make you cool. Being a politician and admitting to it - is cool.

A friend of mine, who is well in his 50's and biracial, gave me advice for my son. "Biracial people should be allowed to change their identity without being judged". Barrack to Barry and back...it is cool. Tried some pot...it is cool. Smoked and quit when your wife got down on you...it is cool. Obama is cool. The whole world hopes he will be a good president.

Cool wife, who is Japanese

It is a myth that ones' race and or culture makes one a better spouse than another. People are compatible or not. It really is that simple. That said, I figure getting married is kind of like playing the lottery. I think I won the lottery.

Almost every gaijin I know, living in Japan, has been divorced. I am working on some general theories but have not really put them together. Would love to know what the divorce rate in Japan is between nationals and foreigners. I would also love to know the divorce rate of Japanese who marry outside of Japan to a foreigner.

It is hard for some to believe but I know just as many Japanese men who have married gaijin as Japanese women who married gaijin.

Marital sex in Japan II

I blame my Catholic upbringing. I still find it difficult to get it on with the wife when the boy is in the flat. The only door separating the bedroom and the main room is made of paper. Once I caught my parents in the act and it scarred me.

The wife is cool with everything just as long as we don't make noise. Who doesn't make noise when they shag?
Of course ones sex life changes after a kid. This is the same the world over. The thing in Japan is the small rooms and paper thin wall. Making love is no longer spontaneous. It is a planned event. Something is lost.

Japanese woman motorcyle officer

Pretty cool, I saw my first Japanese woman motorcycle police officer today. I was standing at the intersection with my son when this kid on a scooter went through followed by a motorcycle officer.

The kid pulled over and no mistaking, a female officer got off her bike and approached the kid. Gawking is not cool in Japan, I continued walking without taking a pic.

Japan is a chauvinistic country, however one cannot deny the public sector makes an effort to even the field. Last time I was at immigration the head honcho was a woman and the men were the paper pushers.

Home loans in Japan

Home loans in Japan are more complicated than in the west but not impossible. Maybe I should not speak as I don't actually have a home loan as I write this post.

However, the wife and I went to see the loans officer with all the papers that might help our cause. They don't have pre-qualified loans in Japan but the nice man in the suit did give us the proverbial "wink". I am one hundred percent confident, if we ever find a home - getting the loan will not be a problem.

If you live in Japan be warned, there are a lot of Gaijin blow-hards that love to fill you head with nonsense.

Buying a home in Japan

The wife and I have been looking at homes for about a two years. We are ready to buy but have never found anything we want to be tied to for the next 20 years. I don't think it is prudent to buy a home as an investment in Japan (at this point in time). You have to love the home and see your self living in it for a long time.

Bob Marley - Biracial Magic

Last Friday night I was down at my local. The regulars are all Japanese, mostly working retail jobs for minimum wage. The music is rather eclectic. But without fail, Marley would be worked into the play list.

It is cool they like Marley. They have studied the lyrics and get the gist of his message. What did my head in that night, was the owner. He is Marley mad - yet he did not know Marley was half white half black. It was worse. He refused to believe me and went off the deep end when I explained some of his music is a product of experience of being discriminated by both blacks and whites.

The ignorance did not bother me. It was the refusal to believe.

Amazon and your baby

Living in Japan is much easier with Amazon. I place an order about twice a month; books, DVDs, CD, electronics, baby stuff. I've never waited for more than 4 days to receive an order.

It is amazing really. I will be the kind of father who tells his kid how much "harder it was I was growing up". I can't wait, "son, when I was your age I had to write a letter on paper, put it in an envelop, walk to the Post buy a stamp. Often I would wait 2 months to get a reply from Grandma".

Love hotel, not just for the dodgy

I really like the name "Love Hotel". It is such a civilized name. Better than "Sex Hotel" isn't it? I have been a patron a few times. Usually my companion was in either in a relationship or lived with her family/roommates.

Japan is great. Instead of paying for a night you can pay for a few hours of bed space.

Until we had our child, it never dawned on me that married people (with their spouse) would patronize Love Hotels. I am planning our anniversary as I write.

Marital sex in Japan

We thought the boy was asleep. As quiet as possible, we started to make love. I was focused on the wall behind my wife's head. I had only one thing in mind. Finish up and get back to sleep. My wife looked to her right. My eyes followed. There was my 7 month old son sitting up, wide eyed staring.

I finished the job quickly. I was more rattled than my wife. Have we mentally scarred our child? Was I merely suffering from western christian angst?

International marriages

It is amazing how much has changed since world war II. After the war the Japanese would learn from General Mac Arther that it was not cool for whites and blacks to hang out together.

Though there were "unofficial" pleasure districts set up for men of all hues, marrying a Japanese woman was of course illegal. Japanese women and their children were mostly left to fend for themselves.

25 years later, Captain Jim Kirk would make bi- racial hook-ups cool with the first interracial kiss on television.

Worrying about your child

Everyone worries about their children. Parents all worry. Yet, we all worry about different things, don't we? What we worry about reflects the sum of our life experiences. Our perceptions are all different.

I think one thing we really have to worry about is how we project our fears on our children. Some of our fears our justified others, crazy.

Parenting a bi-racial child is the same as parenting any child. This is what a chose to believe.

The first post of my first blog.

I'm living in Japan and happily married to an understanding Japanese woman. We have a wonderful baby boy. Like all fathers, or for that matter all parents, I worry about my child's future.